Booked It, Packed Snacks, Regrets Pending
So, I did the thing. Booked a Lake Como, Bellagio & Varenna day tour through Get Your Guide.
Yes – I am now that person with a referral link and no shame.
If it helps fund another round of gelato and keep my bambinos caffeinated with me? Plug away I shall.
👉🏻Support the la familia – book it here (every espresso counts).
⚠️ PSA for Parents Travelling With Kids
Families with bambinos – this tour has a tight schedule.
Great for solo travellers with elite-level time management. But if you’ve ever tried to locate a toilet, grab snacks, and herd a child mid–ninja move all in 45 minutes… do yourself a favour: consider a private tour.
Your back, brain, and blood pressure will thank you.
Stop 1: Como – Aesthetically Pleasing, Emotionally Unavailable
Let’s get into it.
I wanted to love Como. I really did. But honestly? It left me colder than a forgotten gelato in the sun. Gorgeous lake? Check. Dramatic cathedral? Check. Deep, lingering charm? Missing in action.
It’s beautiful, yes. The kind of place made for smug selfies and cinematic reels. But vibe-wise? It felt like it was ghosting me. Like I was trying too hard and Como was just… busy.
Highlights:
The lake (obviously): perfect for slow-mo reels and “look at my life” content.
The cathedral: dramatic, intimidating, and gave serious remote worker goals vibes.
Also got propositioned by a €600 scarf in a boutique. Kindly told them I’m more “Primark with delusions of grandeur” than Prada.
Time allocated: 1 hour
Time needed without small emotional grenades: 30 mins
Rating: 4/10 – all surface, no soul.
Stop 2: Varenna – Narrow Streets, Even Narrower Patience
Coach. Then boat. Then Varenna.
Arriving by boat? Utter bliss. Pastel homes, lush hills, lake sparkle – I was ready to swoon. Then… the docking chaos began.
Yes, we floated past that George Clooney’s villa. Yes, I waved. Because manners.
But back to Varenna. The streets? Narrow. The crowd? Relentless. The vibe? Pinterest board meets Hunger Games.
We hit stairs immediately – steep, cobbled and mocking us. My eldest decided to go full David Attenborough, scaling the steps on all fours like a wounded gazelle. Tourists stared. I smiled like, “Yes, he’s… spirited.”
Highlight:
Villa Cipressi’s Botanical Gardens – home to that gate.
Reality check:
It’s not free.
Everyone’s queuing like it’s the Met Gala of iron gates.
Some were doing costume changes for the shot. I kid you not.
Pro move: zoom lens + Insta360 = no queue, all content. Also? The rest of the gardens are criminally underrated.
Rating: 5/10 – prettier than Como, still not a Kotor-killer.
Stop 3: Bellagio – Heat, Stairs & My Husband Doing Gandalf Impressions
Next ferry to Bellagio. Fifteen minutes of scenic sardine life.
And Bellagio? Oh it’s stunning. Just… not designed for parenting or perspiration. Think: romantic Italian fantasy meets toddler meltdown.
We picked a cobbled alley to climb using eenie meenie miny moe. Calves were sacrificed. Drama was abundant. One child claimed their bones were too hot. Another accused the stairs of being “mean.”
BUT.
Bellagio gave. Candy-coloured facades. Bougainvillea balconies. A random vintage Fiat that looked like it had wandered off a Wes Anderson set.
Mid-alley, my husband – drenched but determined – whispered, “The right restaurant will call to us.” Like we were on a sacred quest.
Moments later?
Vecchio Borgo appeared.
Shady, roomy, directly opposite gelato. My faith in the Italian gods? Restored.
Rating: 5/10 – mainly for the pistachio gelato and the unexpected Gandalf cameo.
🚨Pro Tip for Parents: The Stroller Situation
Bellagio and Varenna are basically stairmaster obstacle courses.
We ditched the stroller and tried out the Wildride toddler sling. Not a promo – just desperate innovation.
Absolute game changer.
Two free hands for snacks, bribes and navigating chaos? 10/10.
Final Thoughts: Scenic, Slightly Soulless, and Worth It (Sort Of)
This tour? Great for content, decent for stories, mid for charm. Like an Italian Vogue cover – stunning from afar, but not always huggable.
Would I do it again? Yes… but slower. Private boat, longer stops, less stair trauma, more gelato. Still – I waved at Clooney, survived four-limbed stair climbs, and made memories (some sweaty, some sweet).
Next stop: more pasta, less panting. Preferably flat terrain.
Ciao for now, la familia.
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