Another Zoo? Blame Blippi.
Another weekend, another zoo.
At this point, I’m placing full blame on Blippi.
If you’ve ever had the theme song stuck in your head while wiping jam off a toddler’s cheek, you’ll understand.
Grey clouds? Check.
That distinct smell of British rain in the air? Yep.
Me, staring at the sky like a washed-up weather girl muttering, “This’ll be interesting.”
But YOLO, as the bambinos say, so off we went.
Chester Zoo: Massive, Magical, and Mildly Exhausting
Let me tell you – Chester Zoo is huge.
Like, “should’ve trained for a marathon” huge.
I wasn’t prepared.
The bambinos definitely weren’t prepared.
But off we marched, snacks in one hand, false hope in the other.
PRO TIP: Comfy shoes and clothes are not optional – they are survival essentials.
Expect long walks, spontaneous sprints, and multiple “I’m not walking anymore” sit-down protests.
Quick Zoo Lowdown (So You Sound Smart in Front of the Kids)
Chester Zoo is split into four themed zones, each packed with animals from across the globe.
Expect lions, rhinos, elephants, butterflies, bats, and everything in between.
It’s like stepping into your own David Attenborough documentary – if the cameraman was holding a buggy, and the lions were interrupted by snack demands.
PRO TIP: Forgot your buggy or cart? Don’t panic – Chester Zoo has rentals.
They’ve got your tired, unprepared parent self covered.
Shout out to whoever invented cart hire. You’re the real MVP.
Madagascar… But Make It Real
From the jump, the animals were showtime ready.
Think Madagascar, but real – unlike the moody diva squad at Twycross Zoo (you know who you are, Tiger).
First stop: Green Zone.
Elephants to your left, rhinos to your right, vultures soaring overhead like they knew my energy levels.
Animals are literally around every corner – your bambinos will be on full sensory overload in the best way.
PRO TIP: Want a break from the chasing? Hop on the off-road adventure truck.
It’s in the Green Zone and gives you a much-needed breather.
Honestly, it’s worth it just for sitting still.
A Boat Ride, Butterflies and Batman?
Other zones bring their own flavour – including a lovely boat ride through the “jungle” of Asia, which feels like a slow-motion movie moment.
Just don’t expect to sit too long before someone’s hungry again.
MUST SEE: The Butterfly House.
It’s a lush, humid haven bursting with colours and magic.
Bambinos will love it.
WARNING: If you wear glasses, be prepared to fog up like a steamed-up train window.
BONUS WARNING: The butterflies are free roamers – if you’ve got a flying-creature phobia, maybe sit this one out.
No judgment here.
And then… the Batcave.
No, not that Batcave – Bruce Wayne is not hanging out in Chester.
But it’s a real cave, pitch-black, slightly damp, and full of bats doing their bat-business.
Hold onto your bambinos – both for safety and so they don’t try and “become Batman.”
Toddler Reins & the Road Runner Effect
Let’s talk toddler reins.
I used to be firmly in the “nah” camp… until I saw other parents effortlessly guiding their zooming bambinos like tiny remote-controlled cars.
Meanwhile, I was living in a real-life episode of Looney Tunes, chasing my youngest like Road Runner while shouting their name across the zoo like a dramatic soap opera character.
PRO TIP: Reins. Game. Changer.
Think “Scorpion from Mortal Kombat – Get over here!”… but make it parenting-friendly and socially acceptable.
VR Dinosaurs & Shark Swims (Yes, Really)
They’ve got an interactive VR experience too – walk with dinosaurs, swim with sharks, and pretend you’re starring in a BBC doc.
I didn’t get to try it this time (thanks, bambinos), but it’s on my list for next visit.
Mental note: I want David Attenborough narrating my shark swim next time.
Food: Glorious Zoo Grub
Don’t worry – I’m not about to burst into Oliver! the musical, but yes, the food scene at Chester Zoo is decent.
Plenty of eateries around the park, and even better, quiet picnic spots if you’re after a moment of peace with your lukewarm coffee.
We hit up the picnic area (bonus: play zones nearby, so you can sit while the kids burn off sugar).
Later, we tried Manado Street Kitchen – outdoor seating because we laugh in the face of drizzle.
OK, fine, it wasn’t raining yet. Just threatening to.
The food? Pretty good! Kids menu = solid.
Vegan and veggie options? Present and correct.
We fed a family of 5 for about £58.
Park prices, folks – it’s the tax you pay for not packing 27 sandwiches.
Think of it like Jamie Oliver’s school dinners: some hits, some suspicious blobs, but nobody went hungry.
PRO TIP: Strike a Pose – You’re in the Lion King Now
Chester Zoo has photo stations dotted all around the park – and honestly?
Best £3 I’ve spent at a zoo.
Ever.
You scan a QR, strike a pose, and then BAM – instant Photoshop magic.
Suddenly your kid is chilling with orangutans or roaring next to a lion like they’ve just joined a Disney casting call.
“Mum! Look! That’s me with a tiger!”
“Yes, bambino… you’re basically an unpaid extra in The Lion King now.”
A fun, cheap keepsake – and bonus: no one’s crying or demanding snacks in the photo.
Frame it.
Treasure it.
Use it to prove they did have fun, even if they later claim they were “bored” the whole time.
Final Thoughts: 7 Hours Later…
Yes, we were there seven hours.
Yes, we walked most of them.
And yes, it was totally worth it.
From play areas and animal encounters to a random silent disco on the green (yes, really) and souvenir stands everywhere (prepare your wallet), Chester Zoo knows how to keep the bambinos busy.
We didn’t even get to the educational hubs or VR zones – so that’s on the list for next time.
Massive shout out to the staff – friendly, helpful, and clearly used to tired parents and wild bambinos. You’re the glue holding that place together.
Verdict: 9/10
Only docking one point for the cardio I didn’t sign up for.
Highly recommend.
Just bring comfy shoes, snacks, a sense of humour… and maybe some reins.
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