Disclaimer: This is a PR invite. Honestly, who knew I’d be getting these emails on a regular basis now? Gotta love it when your weekend plans are suddenly all sorted… with a side of theme park chaos, of course.

The Drive: Two Hours or Three and a Half?

What should have been a breezy two-hour-and-twenty-minute drive somehow morphed into three and a half hours of traffic, rain, and a small amount of parental despair. But hey, arriving exhausted just adds to the adventure, right?

First stop, the most important: toilets at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Followed closely by food because hangry children are not a myth.

Fueling Up: Vegan Burgers and Fries

We spotted a Burger King near Blackpool Pleasure Beach on the map and decided to follow the directions, eventually locating it after a mild adventure. Machine-ordered vegan burgers and fries in hand, we sat down to feast. Moral of the story: always feed the troops before attempting Nickelodeon Land rides.

Nickelodeon Land: Spinning, Bouncing, and Character Chaos

Our first ride? The Fairy OddParents taxi ride..the one that spins in circles and lets you hover mid-air with a button. The boys were ecstatic.

Next up: character meet-and-greets. Marshall remained elusive (I told them he was “on holiday”), but SpongeBob, Chase, and Squidward were more than happy to oblige.

Meanwhile, the older two got to ride the circus bounce ride alone. Watching them spin and bounce independently was hilarious and slightly terrifying..mostly because they were way too proud of themselves.

The pirate ride came next, and thanks to height limits, our eldest got his own boat. Cue him shouting “I’m not scared, SpongeBob will save me!” save him from pirates- a moment I won’t soon forget.

Mini Tip: Always feed your crew before Nickelodeon Land. Trust me.

PAW Patrol Cars: £2.50 Well Spent… Kind Of

We caved on the PAW Patrol cars ride..classic pedal-powered rides around a track. Five-year-old plus three-year-old equals chaos, as I quickly discovered while shoving, pushing, and trying not to crash into the track walls. Fun? Yes. Repeat anytime soon? Not a chance.

Hot Air Balloons and Shopping Sprint

The rain started as we climbed into the Hot Air Balloon ride, so once it finished, it was a mad dash into the nearest shop to admire PAW Patrol and SpongeBob merch..and avoid getting soaked. Convincing the boys they didn’t need everything? A full-on negotiation worthy of a UN summit. Negotiation skills leveled up.

Blue Flyer Rollercoaster: Fast, Furious, and Slightly Surprising

The boys were desperate for a bigger coaster, so we braved the Blue Flyer. Turns out, the ride had a one-child-per-adult ratio… and we had three kids, two adults. Cue the kindness of strangers, who let us pair one child with their adult.

The rollercoaster? Fast, steep, and a hilarious eye-opener. Even our one-year-old was allowed on, which caused more raised eyebrows than screaming. The boys’ faces ranged from exhilaration to “never again” in milliseconds.

Mini Tip: Check ride ratios before queueing, or be ready for creative negotiations.

Wallace & Gromit: Red-Eyed Gnomes and Sweet Treats

As the rain returned, we ducked into the Wallace & Gromit ride. Only one adult per child, so bribes (in the form of stick-of-rock) were deployed. The ride itself was adorable, culminating in a giant, red-eyed garden gnome..suddenly everything made sense. The gnome sees everything. Yes, everything.

We finished off with doughnuts and a Tango Fruit Blast because no theme park experience is complete without sugar, sticky fingers, and slightly judgmental seagulls on your car.

Mini Tip: Treats + small snacks = happy kids and a slightly calmer exit.

Final Thoughts

Blackpool Pleasure Beach = chaos + laughs + thrills in equal measure. From mini rollercoasters to character meets, rainy shopping sprints, and doughnut-induced happiness, the boys had a blast, and so did we.

Pro Tips:

Bring waterproofs for unpredictable UK weather

Sugar bribes for tricky ride ratios

A sense of humor (non-negotiable)

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